how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
