I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
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