I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
