My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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