Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
