well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Holy shit dude........stairs
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize