I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
