Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
It's never too late to be topless.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
