I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
that's an acceptable place to lick
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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