She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
