now i know why i became what i already was.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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