haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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