Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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