My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
