if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
