I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
