tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
