She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
