I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize