i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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