You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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