You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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