At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
