tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize