would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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