I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
