Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
