I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
