my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
