i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
