Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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