You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
