he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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