That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
