good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
