who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
