i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
babies were throwing up all over the place
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
