He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
