On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
