Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize