took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I have feelings that need drinking.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
