oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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