If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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