I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
