You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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