I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
