Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
