I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
