They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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