It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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