Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
When are your genitals available?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
