fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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