What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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