its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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