i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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