So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
