he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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