I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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