She's JV to your varsity
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
