there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
