She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i love accidental penises.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
