i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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