HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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