he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
