i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
