is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
