Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
