Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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