I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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