There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
