He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
