What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Girls should come with a carfax report
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize