some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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