Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
