Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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