i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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