Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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