She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
