Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize