My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
