Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
