I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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