Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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