We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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