I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
