all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
