My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
