Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
