I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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