So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
