he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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